Treating the self, right is fundamental to living a full and healthy life. Obviously living a Jewish life would require you to live a full and healthy life. Forgiveness is such an important role in our path to God, each day we go to sleep full of anguish and yearning to cling to Hashem, then Hashem forgives each one of us, so much, as we ask for it, in an earnest way. Now, you cannot begin to reach out to others for forgiveness before deeply having compassion for yourself and your mistakes, annulling yourself of all regret and shame. If we request forgiveness from Hashem, Hashem will just tell us, you haven’t even forgiven yourself, why do you expect me to forgive? You must become a vessel/human before you can fill it with Holiness and purity. Do not go backwards, it will only hurt you. First love yourself, then you can love others, first connect to yourself before you connect to Hashem. First forgive yourself, then once you have a clean heart, break it again for connection to Hashem your creator and father.
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